Grace & Mercy

In the kitchen window at the bunkhouse

The Attitude of Contentment

"Attitude is Everything" read the little sign tacked above the serving window in the diner.  I made a mental note that I had seen, in that same week, the same sign at the meat processor when we took a steer in to be butchered.  I've been praying that God would make me aware of His leading; so not leaving anything to chance, I took these "Attitude is Everything" signs as His sign to me.

Time for self-examination.

 

  Attitude (a bad one or a good one) affects everything in my life.

 

  Yeah, I get that. 

 

Do I have a bad attitude?

 

<<apparently>>

 

Admit it!!! 

 

**Ok.  Ok.  I admit my bad attitude.**

 

 

One of the hayfields
....ready to be baled this week.

So where am I struggling?  In contentment.  That seems strange....looks strange on the page as I'm writing.   I've spent that last several days chewing on the whys of my lack of contentment.  We're living a beautiful, contented life on a bucolic farm in a scenic part of the state.  I'm quite happy with the simple farm life.  I find comfort in the daily routine of tending to the farm and the animals on it.  It's refreshing to be hours away from a big city, to have very limited cell phone service and television reception.   

 

The answers to the whys came as intermittant drizzles during my week....in my quiet times spent reading the Bible, in radio programs on various topics, in movies, during chores.....

 

Why the negative attitude?  It boils down to this:  I have let myself feel guilty for not being ambitious for what the world calls "success."   ... I sometimes feel that I am less than I should be because I'm not pursuing riches, power and prestige.   Like:  "Sheesh...don't ya want more out of life than this?  Is this the extent of your amibition?  What about that empire you were gonna build?  What would 'the Donald' say?" 

 

 

I'm tired of trying to defend my kind of ambition (to myself as well as to others).  Like: "What?  Like the simple life is bad?  Is it bad to even want the simple life?"

 

 

 

My kind of ambition?....it's found in 1 Thessalonians 4:11,12

 

¹¹ Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹² so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

 

 

and here in Romans 12:2

 

 

² Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 

 

and here in 1 John 2:15-16

 

¹⁵ Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶ For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

 

 

I'm ashamed to admit that for too long I let the world's definition of success be the goal worth pursuing...and I bought the tickets, waited at the station and boarded that train!  Thankfully, I eventually hopped off that fast track (forced off, actually.... through a series of the opening of some doors and the closing of others, we landed on this farm...picture the conductor grabbing us up out of our seats and throwing us out of a moving train!  haha).  Whose definition of success am I going to heed?  The world's?  God's?  Uhhhh, I'm gonna go with God's, for 1000, Alex. 

 

By writing this out, it has helped me start climbing out of the negatives.  I know my goal is to live my life God's way..... He put me where I can bloom.  How can I have a bad attitude about that?  It's a work in progress.....  Today I'm adjusting my attitude --> The Attitude is  now set to {contentment} on the dial.  I'll check my progress along the climb. 

 

 

What about you?  How's your attitude?  

 

 

 



A Ramble through the Cemetery

I've begun my study of 1 Chronicles.  That's a chore in itself for the first 9 chapters are the genealogies of Israel.....so many names!  so hard to pronounce!

Yet today I am challenged by this verse:  "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."  2 Timothy 3:16.

The genealogies are part of Scripture and are, yes, useful.  On this trip through 1 Chronicles,  I am purposefully reading each name as if it were engraved on a tombstone...


  In my imagination I get up early and walk to the cemetery.  The grass is still dewy.  The dawn's light is glinting over the horizon and onto the old weathered white stones.  I stroll among the stones, pausing at a few.  Some stones have well-worn paths around them as many have stopped to pay their respects:  Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Saul, David, Solomon.  

Most though are rarely visited; the grass has grown up tall as to almost obscure them from sight.  I use my boot to tramp down the foliage to read the name that has been preserved for all generations.  

So and so, Jr.

the son of 

So and So, Sr.  

So many have similar names.  A very few have epitaphs:  "brave warrior"  "entrusted with baking the bread"  "fighting men ready for war"  "unfaithful to God"  "outstanding leader"  "found rich, good pasture"  "killed by natives"  "had only daughters"

I ask aloud, "Why are these marked with epitaphs while most aren't?"  

I listen for an answer.  None comes.  My mind searches for clarity and finds this:  For some reason God wants me to know something about these people that I consider trivial.   To God, the lives of these people is not the stuff of trivia; every life has significance.  That's it, isn't it, God?

Finding comfort and satisfaction in that sudden illumination, I walk lazily to the dusty path that leads out of the cemetery.  I wonder to myself, "Will my stone have an epitaph?  I'd like it to say 'God's servant'  .... no, maybe something more prestigious....but then, I can't think of anything more prestigious.  That's it, right, God?"

Amidst the crunch of stones under each boot step, my heart hears a whisper, "Yes to both....but keep looking; there's more."

The answer to the questions of my heart won't be answered here today;  I'll have to talk to God on my walk back home.  At the gate, I turn and gaze in each direction at the stones in the various family sections of the cemetery.  I'm sorry I don't have time to look at each grave today.   When I come back another time, I'll smile at each name and say, "your name and the life it represents is important to God."   

The soft morning breeze carries a whisper to me, "Each life matters to Me.  That's why I gave My Son."  



I'm compelled to keep looking for all the usefulness in these and other seemingly trivial chapters.
He is training me in righteousness.  That statement humbles me.  I'm important enough to Him that He is training me....right now...He hasn't given up on me!  I'm so thankful!!!

Weak and Vulnerable

Marie with her new bull calf

Marie, one of the longhorn cows, had a beautiful bull calf on the 1st day of June.  Lately we've been getting one red calf after another so to see a white and red baby is like a special gift!

I still consider myself a newcomer to the bovine world even though I've been a part of it for several months now.  These creatures continue to teach me not only about themselves and their kind but also about our Lord and my walk with Him.

On day 2 of the beautiful calf's life, the herd was grazing at the front of the pasture behind the barn while the newest herd member lie curled by the fence in the sunshine.  I watched, mesmerized by them...they fascinate me!  Then in broad daylight, a coyote trotted across the back pasture and out of my view.  I told Cowboy of the situation and he said that we should just keep an occasional eye out and that the herd knows naturally what to do in such cases.  

As they usually do, the longhorns finished grazing, drank deeply from the water troughs and headed single-file to the back pasture leaving the baby to sleep where he was.  Once they had all reached the back pasture, they turned in unison and RAN back up to the front pasture to guard their vulnerable member.  They had apparently caught the scent of the dangerous coyote.

As the scene unfolded, I was caught up in the further admiration of our heavenly Father who created these animals to do just what they did.   They all were aware of their sleeping, unprotected one and of the danger lurking.  They all ran to protect him.  

Are people wired that way, too?  Do we have an instinct that makes us run to protect our weakest?  Shouldn't we be on the lookout for danger?  Shouldn't we be mindful of our vulnerable members?  The fact that these questions all came to me shows me that I have not seen this demonstrated very often in people....in immediate families, perhaps...but not so much in other "herds" of people.  I'm guilty, too, of being so self-focused as to fail to notice who's weak and in danger.

These questions have prompted this prayer:

Lord, make me mindful of the vulnerability of others.  Give me a heart to protect them.  Make me aware of the dangers lurking.  Encourage my heart that others are looking out for me, too.

Memories of Home

I wrote a poem for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary.  Each stanza became the page of a keepsake book. I should have taken a picture to show you.  The poem took several days to write because I was often so overcome with emotion while writing.  Every line evoked so many memories of my wonderful upbringing.
I'm happy to share my poem with you....

Home, Back the Lane

Follow the long lane as it bends around

Through fields, beside woods, amidst honeysuckle thick

There stands a house more than wood and brick

A shelter, a haven, where hearts are bound

A sweet scent ambles along, linger’ing still

Maple, lilac and lily  join  magically

With faint image of farmer and ukulele:

 “Froggie Went A-Courtin’” the children thrill

Fond visions appear of trips to the field

Sandwiches and tea to  family’s satisfaction

Tractor rides  or vitamin-from-nose extraction

Far beyond mere bushels measures the yield

The barns of the memory stand sturdy, tall

Tiny piglets to care for, kittens in the mow

Behold the ewes and lambs,  and many a sow

A basketball goal gracing the barn’s east wall

Echoing still are the radio noises

WIBC, like the always near friend

Ellery Queen mystery then off to lane’s end

Market report demands silent voices

Remnants from the mother-daughter dresses

Black Thumbelina at church in a little girl’s arm

TV time, backs against cushions, home from the farm

Father - sons union indelibly impresses

A nighttime melody of bedtime prayers,

Warm heater blankets click, and popcorn scent drifts up

A handful of snack and Coke in a Dixie cup

Kisses goodnight, footsteps on creaking stairs

Glad laughter reverberates wall to wall

At cheese stuck on the ceiling, and climbing door frames

At “pick up that ladder,”  and sock-ceiling fan games

On hayrides, ‘round campfires in the crisp fall.

Graced with laughter are the beautiful tones

 Satin Doll and Sentimental Journey at night

and then too Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White

Piano and organ, banjo, trombone

See the car speed to various places

To girls scouts and band practice and overnight stays

To music lessons, ball games and practice for plays

Busy yet happy.   Smiles adorn faces

What joy to travel, those summer time treks.

Midwesterners journeying, near and far

On the wings of a jet, or snuggled in the car

Historic sights, ski slope and beach, cave and boat deck 

Joys that crescendo at holiday time

Speak and Spell,  Slinkies,  toy train set and Barbie dolls,

Evergreen Christmas trees boasting gold and green balls

The Nativity scene, there to remind.

Like petals from heaven grandchildren appear

In  a whirlwind of dress-up, jewelry and drama

Pool parties and singing,  playing monster with Pa

Ruby egg, fall break hikes, New Year’s Eve cheer

Behold scattered crayons and coloring books

Ten helping hands gather In the kitchen with Gran

Jello cut-outs and cookies, and stirring the pan

Movies and American girl dolls stashed in their nooks

Through fire and loss and tearful good-byes

Still rejoice in the bond of a fifty year love

Look joyously!  A future  in heaven above

Where hearts, still joined, live in eternal skies.

Looking into the Face of God

We welcomed a new grandson into our family in the wee small hours of Saturday.    He is perfect in every way.  We are already happily dreaming of our future with him:   horses, four-wheelers, bb guns...

As my eyes have been staring wondrously into the face of that sweet baby, my thoughts have drifted heavenward.  From the first moment I saw our grandson, I saw God.  "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."  Genesis 1:27.  

 I examined his tiny ears, slender fingers, and gossamer eyebrows, remembering David's words, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalm 139:14

Tonight I opened my Bible to Psalm 139 and read it again.  The words are all the sweeter now when I see them through these grandmother eyes.  How amazing that our omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God made us, knows us, and loves us.   He is indeed worthy of praise.

 

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Stop and Delight in His Creation

Cowboy and I made an unusual stop for lunch yesterday:  at a fast-food restaurant in the city.  We needed to find an area with enough parking for the truck and trailer.  This particular place really didn't have enough space, but since we were there and hungry, we simply pulled off the side of the road.  I walked across the road and parking lot and entered the restaurant.  I ordered 2 chicken sandwich meals and hiked back with our fare to the truck.

While Cowboy and I ate our lunch, we watched a family of Canada geese consisting of 2 parents (I assume) and 6 goslings.  The group fearlessly crossed the road, stopping traffic momentarily, to eat the fresh grass in the side ditch.  Apparently feeling the push to continue on, they waddled across the restaurant's exit drive to eat in a marshy area of sprouting cattails.

Cowboy said softly, "Isn't God amazing?  He made all this."

I nodded in agreement and we finished our lunch in the big city.

How blessed we are to have the privilege of enjoying this wonderful creation!!

Stop and delight in it all....even in the ordinary.


May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works.  Psalm 104:31